Style-Spotlight

Only fashionistas may have noticed it, but Reese showed up in the same Chanel Couture dress Kirstin Drunkst wore to the Globes in 2003. Both would have looked stunning if it weren’t for Kirstin’s big mouth and Reese’s big chin.

C’est la vie.

I love my footballers and even more so, I love my footballers’ wives. I love their orange tans, their tacky designer gear, and their townie sense of style. I’ve loved Posh since her Spice Girls days and always predicted she’d be the one to make it of the girlie gang - in the same way I predicted Rachel Stevens’s solo fame - so I’ll be the first to post about her show stealing walk for Roberto Cavalli. Unfortunately, as much as I love her, I’ll also be the first to say that she looks shockingly like a man. Oh dear. How ironic her Roberto debut was for MENSWEAR S/S 06.

I don’t care if people think they were “cute”. Night of the Golden Globes - they made me sick. Too many stolen glances, too many knowing looks, too much PDA. I could be biased though; I hate Reese and I wish I were married to Ryan. Either way, they were the grossest couple of the evening. Yes, that night, they were even more sickening than TomKat, who, thank God, were a no-show!

Not to be outdone by her daughters, Kathy Hilton shows the world who the real party girl is. In true Hilton style, Kathy danced the night away, pissed out of her head in the tackiest black bear-it-all lace top only Bai Ling would be caught dead in. Unlike Paris and Nicky however, she actually had something to show.

PS: After a well deserved extended X’mas break, it’s good to be back! And I very much welcome Heidi to the site

By now, you’ve heard everyone’s favorite picks for best and worst dressed at the Golden Globes 2006. But, for me it was all about the details. The unexpected accessories and elements of design that can make or break an outfit. Or, as I like to call them, the things that distract me so much I can’t focus on anything else. So, as I say goodbye to the Golden Globes for another year, I leave you with the things that puzzled me most:

The Back of Hilary Swank’s Dress
Sure, some called it sexy. She definitely seems to have a knack for picking the dress with the lowest back. However, this looked like it was made out of leftover black bra straps. It looked….I don’t know…dominatrix-y.
Knockoffs of this dress are sure to cause many amorous moments to come to a screeching halt. It must take forever to undo all of those clasps.

Those “Things” On Marcia Cross’s Shoulders
What were those? Some kind of military epaulets? Does she belong to some secret military society where all the members are forced to wear coral-colored Grecian gowns? I must know.

Heidi Klum-Seal’s Neck Brace
This was very strange. I can only suspect that she wore it either as a tribute to the Eiffel Tower or some strange injury made it necessary for her to have her dress designer come up with a stylish, yet functional neck brace. But, she looks so happy in this photo that I’m guessing she is injury free and just really loves the Eiffel tower.

An Odd Abundance of Material
I’m still not sure if it’s just poor posture, but in every picture I’ve seen, Maria Bello’s dress is just way, way too long. Did she not have time for fittings? Did her seamstress have a dyslexic moment and record her height as 6’5” instead of 5’6”? Did she decide to wear flats? So many questions. All that extra material on the bottom could’ve caused a major fall on the red carpet.

On the other hand, I was distracted by those weird flaps of extra material at the top of Sandra Oh’s dress. I just wanted to tuck them into the lines of silver beading that ran down along the bodice. As it was though, the flaps just reminded me of gills.

Mandy Moore’s Disappearing Necklace
When Mandy Moore presented during the actual awards ceremony, there was no sign of this necklace. I can only hope someone told her take it off. It looks like one of those rope dividers in swimming pools that separate the shallow end from the deep end.

Rachel, What Is That?
What is this? It just seems out of place. This strange, inexplicable triangle of fabric. It looks like the dress designer was inspired by the top of a celery stalk. I don’t get it.

Too, Too Much
She is so very, very pale. And her lips are so very, very red. It just kind of creeped me out a little bit.

What Is That On Her Neck?
Possible captions for this photo include:
“Good Doilies Gone Bad”
“This is What Happens When Lace is Abused”
“When Handkerchiefs Attack”

Check back for Sarah Joelle Snarker’s final posts, which are in the works. Looking forward to the next award show!

Arrr. Avast, ye matey. ‘Tis I, Captain Johnny Depp, unveilin’ me latest swashbucklin’ chic. What does ye think, ya landlubbin’ scurvy knave?

I think you’re hot. What? Wait. I’m sorry. I forgot where I was for a minute.

Oh, you mean the outfit? You’re an absolute mess. There’s scruffy-looking and then there’s downright greasy-looking and you, my dear Mr. Depp, are looking greasy.

Greasy and really, really hot.

Jane Seymour scares the bejeezus out of me. Dr. Quinn, Terrifying Woman.

Just look at her in this picture. She thinks she’s a fairy princess. She wants a pony for her birthday. She regrets not wearing that tiara she picked out. She’s 55 years old.

She’s ready for her close up, Mr. DeMille.

I’m not going to talk about his frightful beard. Or, his fairly scary, severe glasses.

I will also not ask why his wife is forced to carry so many bags on the red carpet. I can only assume they had to catch a flight immediately after the ceremony and therefore, had to bring everything they owned.

I will not ponder his wife Elizabeth Cohen’s strange color palette or her ever so pointy shoes.

I simply want to know…is her top velour??

Happy Valentine’s Day from Geena Davis! Ms. Davis’s dress for the Golden Globes was designed and sponsored by Russell Stover Candies. Special accessories included a heart shaped purse which contained a generous supply of Russell Stover delights such as Orange Praline Ginger creams and Raspberry Fondue Jellies, which she shared eagerly with the press on the red carpet. She also had a special necklace made from chocolate covered cherries, but she and the limo driver ate it on the way to the event.

For all you DIY girls out there, here is a clever way to repurpose Grandma’s antique tablecloths. As Ellen Pompeo (left) demonstrates, you can simply cut a hole in the center of an antique table runner, slip it over your head and let it hang. Or, you could go full-on, head to toe like Yoon Jin Kim (right). I wouldn’t recommend it, but you certainly could.