Style-Spotlight

Breaking gossip: Ashlee Simpson is able to wear sunglasses on her new nose. Film at 11.

I don’t understand why Ashlee Simpson just won’t admit it. This nose debacle is really beginning to tick me off. When she was asked by the press whether or not she had her nose clipped and altered:

“Everybody’s already saying it, so I just don’t talk about it. I’m like, okay, whatever. It doesn’t bother me.”

When pressed for more information:

“Maybe. Who knows!”

This is just like when Kelly Osbourne used to say, “I’m not fat, I’m just curvy!” No, Kelly, you were a chubby bitch. This was of course before she started on the “chocolate diet” which should be renamed the “charlie diet”.

Why can’t these teen stars just admit it?

Here are Ashlee Simpson’s breasts laying (fairly) naturally. They are a bit smaller than we usually see them when in push-up bras. I thought I should point out this picture, from the cover of March’s Elle Magazine.

“I have amazing boobs. I do; I know it. They’re not too big, not too small. They’re just perfect.”
– Cosmopolitan cover girl Ashlee Simpson

SJ Snarker:

Ashlee, you lesbian, stop staring at my chest!

Sinister Sister:

I have to say I am proud. When she finds herself in the back room at the music stores, and her sister is still causing a scene, Ashlee finds a way to get some attention for herself.

He used to kick butt, now the Rock is putting those butts in movie theater seats across America. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has gone from a Pro Wrestling Heavyweight to Hollywood heavyweight. As long as the cameras are rollin’ Dwayne Johnson is going to keep on rockin.’

Is Ashlee Simpson still rockin’? It seems that for her sophomore attempt she not only went soft on the hair color, but on her sound as well. Despite a few tracks similar to the ones on Autobiography, I Am Me can be considered to be a few rockin’ lullabies.

Do you want to write a hit song? Do you desperately need a date? Ryan Cabrera teamed up with MTV, so all of you out there don’t have to choose between the two. The show puts contestants against each other to write and perform a song for people they want to date. Then the one being serenaded chooses whom he or she wants to date. If you are a fan of dating shows and amateur hours Ryan Cabrera’s new show just might appeal. However, if you don’t like ordering your programs with extra cheese, keep rollin’ past this show.

From body slams to blondes, male and female, Hollywood is still rockin.’ For some, the rockin’ may be in shorter supply than others. Still, unlike the old saying, if Hollywood is rockin do come a’knockin.’

Warning: These opinions only reflect myself, kantoka, the writer. I am not speaking for this site, its other writers, or any celebrity. And as some of you may know … this blog is a somewhat Farewell for me. I will not be posting as much now. I must depart for personal reasons, but I will be back to make comments on other entries. Hopefully, this post sends me off with a BANG! Feel free to email me if you hate what I said. Or love it. Whatever.

I am going to go backwards like a countdown … and feel free to agree or disagree with my assessment!

1. Lindsay Lohan - someone please explain to me why in the free world we think this girl is something to gossip about??? She’s done a couple of Disney flicks … she’s got a pop album (who doesn’t nowadays…) and she’s one of the “it” girls in the teenage socialite drinking club of Bev. Hills. Any teenage girl can drink; who gives a crap? And now she looks like a recovering drug addict … and she thinks it’s hot. Whatever.
2. Hilary Duff - Please, please, oh please … tell me why you think she can sing?? And that she’s great. Because she’s average. She sings like a normal girl in a High school choir just taking the class for an easy credit. She dresses like she’s 10. And now, she too, is losing weight like a drug addict. And we want her to represent teenagers today? PUH lease.
3. Lee Lee Sobieski - I know, this is so random right? But why does any casting director think she can act? Because she can’t. So stop. Please. Thank you.
4. Nicole Richie - Her dad wrote some songs, sang some songs, produced some songs. And, in my CD’s somewhere, I have a couple of them. She doesn’t write. She doesn’t sing. She doesn’t produce. Why do we care what she does? Get over her.
5. Michelle Branch - News flash : Her voice sucks. Stop recording. Find a new outlet. Paint by number, fly kites … whatever. Stop singing.
6. Penelope Cruz - Yes, I know, also kinda random. But I don’t understand why everyone is crazy about her. She can’t act that well, and she looks like a ferret. So, she dated Tom Cruise, and speaks with an accent. Who cares? We all know where TOM is now… and anyone can change her voice to speak with a fake accent. What’s the buzz with her?
7. The CAST of Laguna Beach - Let me tell you why I am addicted to this show. Because everytime I watch it, I remember how lucky I am, and was in High School, to not be as stupid as most of the girls are on this show. Let me just say this — Jason is a schmuck, and for some reason, everyone swoons over him. Ugh, God, I can see his game from a mile away …. from 1,000 miles away actually. Why are these people so interesting?? They do nothing but shop, eat, and lay around and mumble about how guys are like purses or some crap. When do they ever work? Do homework? Go to school?? This show is supposed to show us what it’s like to be a teenager? News flash MTV! The OC is not reality … and neither is Laguna Beach. Because the average 18 year old is working part time a fast food chain, staying home at night eating Mom’s meatloaf and green beans while posting blogs on My Space, and text messaging friends on their cheap Cricket cell phones about who slept with whom at the keggar party near the old farm. The average teenager is not getting new BMW’s and crusing around a rich town, getting nails done every weekend, and having steak barbeques by his or her parents cliffside pool house. Grow up cast members— read a book, educate yourselves on the world, or even better … stop thinking Jason is so special. He’s a loser. And he’ll probably end up waiting tables at each restaurant he took every girl to in about 10 years. Laguna Beach = BORING.
8. Britney Spears - I am going to get shot for putting her on this list. But why why why why WHY is she so famous when she is so utterly NOT talented. And don’t give me any crap … the girl can’t sing, she doesn’t sing live, she can’t act … and she’s really stupid. I will give her one thing … she can dance. She does have a great talent in that. But her songs are contrived and crappy. Yet, she is a freakin’ billionaire … and we paid for her to be. Well— you people did, who bought her CD’s and saw her shows. And now all that money you spent to worship Britney is going down some Vegas stripper’s panties via Kevin Federline … because that’s where Britney’s money now goes … right in his loser, slacker, undeserving grubby fingers. Way to go Public … way to go … Instead of one idiot pop star, you made two … Britney and Kev. And now they are procreating … sign over your checks NOW!
9. Ashlee Simpson - I am going to get so much hate mail for this. I know … I am sorry, ahead of time. But all I want to say is these simple facts. She’s not that great of a singer. Her sister is. She had a ticket right to fame through her sister. She, at first, didn’t want to be her sister, and now she is … blonde and everything all over again. And finally… her songs are POP crap. I guess she’s just famous because Jessica is. What does that say about Hollywood?

AND THE #1 Celebrity Female who should not be famous IS…

10. PARIS HILTON - You’ve heard me complain about this over and over again. But what in God’s name is Paris Freakin’ Hilton doing in Hollywood?? Seriously … she is a complete idiot. She dresses like a whore. She acts like it too. She cannot act (hence, HOUSE OF WAX). She does not, cannot, and should not sing. She has no brain, she runs no company, she goes to no school. She is a walking blonde, shopping zombie and the public loves it. And the bottom line is — no one should care about her, because she does nothing to contribute to society. Nothing!!

Can we please, please find someone else to care about?? PLEASE!

Ashley lived through her first successful Saturday Night Live appearance, second overall, tonight.

The newly re-blond performer opened with a beautifully melodic, lyrically challenged, vocally average song Ashlee said she wrote after the original SNL incident. It was sad, typical, and mostly unmoving due to lack of a personal feel. Her voice, however, pushed through its unremarkable talent to portray the true emotion.

Having “proved” herself, Ashlee’s next song selection was the obvious new single, “I Didn’t Steal Your Boyfriend.” It was a good choice; she made it through one song, it was time to kick it up and party.

Simpson’s fashion during the first number was subdued and notably uninteresting. But she returned to her rock-punk-teen style for the second go. In a black & white pro-punk style version of the Avril tie getup (a modernized and classier improvement), short ballet leggings with a flared mini, her boots took focus, again, as No-Go Rule Breakers. Chunky combat style, oh yes, oh, no! Her hair—had some strange nastiness of its own going on, as well: was that dreads?

Having concluded the appearance, the relieved singer sounded choked up when she gushed, “thank you” to the crowd. Better to lose her voice after singing!

She can also be grateful that SNL’s cast members made no mention of that other performance. They made no spectacle at all, in a move indisputably for poor Ashlee’s sake, as it would have been good entertainment to make some point of it, or good PR to try to prove something, themselves.

Will this redeem Ashlee’s career—which has been fairly off-the-radar compared to her record breaking (well, it beat her sis Jessica’s sellings) debut. I doubt it, but I say go ahead and buy her new CD. I’m behind supporting this sweet girl.

Ashlee Simpson turned 21 today, and claims she is very happy to be allowed to legally drink “a glass of champagne.”

Ash, just don’t hurt your voice with all the booze for your “redeeming” performance on Saturday Night Live, this weekend, October 8th.

Here’s praying for ya.

It was fashion mishaps–no crimes–of mis-shape at the 2005 Teen Choice Awards‘ red carpet.

Ashlee Simpson

What is she wearing? Looks like a muu muu for a pregnant woman.

Hilary Duff

What? She must be Ashlee’s future crack goth baby.

Rachel Bilson

And here we have the great grandmother. (The dress would be adorable, if it were 19 sizes smaller.)

Accused by the tabloids of stealing Wilmer Valderrama away from Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson’s new single, “Boyfriend,” contains a message in its chorus – which goes, “I didn’t steal your boyfriend.”

Still, Simpson claims the refrain is not aimed at Lohan.

“It’s not about one person in particular. It’s just something every girl can relate to … [how] every girl out there sometimes thinks you stole her boyfriend. It’s just making fun of that,” Simpson, 20, said of the song at this weekend’s 2005 Teen Choice Awards, MTV News reports.

What kind of drama queen life do young people today live? What could a girl do to cause any other woman to think this - other than “crazy drunk sluttie” you saw once stripping and starting CAT FIGHT(s)! at a kegger your more questionable college pal dragged you to (because you were a good studious lady, who only rarely gave in to peer pressure, I’m sure)?

Also, how sad is that for Ashlee? To have this pathetic life and to be sisters with said CDS.

Ashlee Simpson